“What would you do if you weren’t afraid?”

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Sheryl Sandberg’s favorite poster mantra from Facebook. She said she would speak out more for women if she weren’t as afraid.

I have worked at Facebook and there are posters with quotes like this everywhere. They encouraged my creativity juice, helped me remember the greatness I forgot I had in me, and most importantly, they remind me of my purpose.

Yesterday I met with two girls who want to start a Lean In Circle for engineering students at UCLA. Quickly we all got on the same page and less than 12 hours later, we have a Organization Page and our first meeting (more like a picnic) up on Facebook. This shows me that when you meet like minded people, you inspire each other to do extraordinary things. I read Chapter 10 from Sheryl’s Lean In today.
It mentions the need for us to talk about the gender issue comfortably and acknowledge our mistakes in approaching the problem. We shouldn’t whine and we are not asking for favorable retreat. Simply, we need not to be afraid to bring out the subconscious or unconscious bias to the conscious. The more we share about ourselves, the more we realize that we are not alone. Others share the same fears and troubles too, and they are eager to find a way to make a change just like we are.

Looking back at my tenure at the CS and engineering clubs, I proudly discover that I have been very active. I created numerous events, I started new traditions, I met intelligent friends, I mentored younger students, and I played on a team. Nevertheless, recently I realized that despite my generous contribution, I was too busy surfacing around only the worldly matters. Never did I ever remember to slow down and dig deep introspectively or extrospectively. I stopped asking the why before worrying about the how for the what. Teaching someone a skill is straightforward. Shifting a culture is obscure, but so much more rewarding. To raise an opinion that is ahead of one’s time and try to shape the society into accepting the innovative thinking is noble yet dangerous. The people that I truly admire are those who attempted or are attempting to take on such noble tasks. Lincoln, Jane Addams, Grace Hopper, Arianna Huffington, Sheryl Sandberg, and so many others chose to challenge the status quo and bring out a different voice.

I went to a #SleepRevolution event a few days ago and I was lucky enough to meet Arianna in person. She is radiant, amiable, and incredibly gifted with people. She knows exactly the words to use and the right thing to say to put you at ease, to convey a complex thought, and to convince people the significance of an abstract idea. I believe no one would deny the importance of sleep, but very few actually prioritize sleep or emphasize the value it has on our society. Arianna does an amazing job of making sleep one of the coolest trends for 2016 and one of the most important things we should focus on as a culture. In the past, she has redefined success in her best seller Thrive. It is no easy ambition to change the way people think and what they value. Only the absolutely GREAT people think of doing it. They are not afraid of being called out or being objected because their belief is so strong and they are patient to welcome that change.

I was trying this IQ bed and Arianna just walked in and started hanging out with me like she is just another attendee.

Taking a selfie with Arianna and entourage

#SleepRevolution Sleep Expert Panel (Leftmost is Arianna; Metta World Peace third from the left)

 

My Workout Cycle

How often do you follow through with an impulse?

I know if I have acted on even a quarter of my inspirations, I would have accomplished so much more. If I have published every mind draft of a meaningful thought or a stimulating experience, I would have had hundreds of posts in this space. If I have pursued any one of my invention ideas or startup imaginations, there would have been one more female entrepreneur in the world. I have heard people complaining, “I totally had that ‘idea.’ But they got to it first,” when a new product is announced. I want to be clear that am not denying the merit in having a creative thought. I just see too many people, myself included, over-appreciate “having a brilliant idea,” but gravely overlook “achieving a simple goal.” There is a cornucopia of lawsuit struggles over IP and rights tying up resources and slow down innovations for name and money. (The Facebook lawsuit can be a good example of this.)

Ideas are cheap. Materializing them makes ideas powerful.

“Do you think you should be active and healthy?” “Are you active and healthy?” My answer to the first question has always been 100% yes. My answer to the second question used to be 50% yes. I thought to myself, given my busy schedule, working out twice a week would be doable and adequate. What happened was I would go to the gym whenever I could “make time for it.” “I am too busy” is a lie that I tell myself. (I say tell because I think I still use this excuse for some activities.) Yes, we lie to yourselves all the time. I gather that part of the rationale for lying is to make ourselves feel better. But we should ask ourselves, “Does it?” or does it just mask up the fact that we are disappointing ourselves? When I chose to confront my self-tricking and

Initially, I had the title as “Healthy Lifestyle Success Rule No. 0.” I wanted to share how I managed to commit to a healthy lifestyle and work out everyday. As I started writing, I realized that what I am really trying to address is the gap between aspirations and actions.

Recently, when my friends ask about how I am doing, I tell them about my new commitment to a healthy lifestyle. I have been sticking with my work out plan and exercising 6 days a week (actually every day now) for over a month. This is the longest I have persisted and most active and excited. I feel great about my body and mind. I share this with people because I hope that they will feel encouraged after hearing my change because I know a lot of people have trouble exercising on a regular basis. The two most common excuses are “no time” and “it is boring.” I used both of them myself before and I have conquered them by setting clear and tangible goals.

I made my workout schedule 4 weeks ago and it is shared at the bottom of this post in details. I also became extra conscious of my diet and sleep. The part behind my story that not many knows is that I was mildly depressed for a few months (one quarter). During those 10 weeks, I stayed in my bed watching TV except for going to classes. I would fabricate excuses to get out of meetings and dates. I had no motivation to do any work; as a result, what I did the most was planning to do work and imagining I would finish this and that in some future time block. I tried seeking counseling but they could not schedule me after the initial intake until a month and a half later. I knew I had to do something on my own, so I did yoga and meditation. However, the same problem with motivation and sticking to my plan prevented me from committing to regular practices. Luckily, there was a turning point for me. I went home for spring break after being away for three years. I needed to redefine a life there, so I decided to exercise. The first morning I went out running, I ran into a group of people doing cardio in the open. Somehow I decided to join them midway despite feeling a bit lost and weird. This decision turned out to make me some new friends and change my lifestyle. I went to many sessions whenever I could during the 2 weeks I was home. The coaches pushed us very hard. At the end of the two weeks, I realized that I made some progress in terms of strength and stamina in just such a short period. Mostly importantly, my mood became a lot lighter and I feel healthy about my body and mind again. There were quite a few amazingly athletic and strong people in that group. After seeing them walking in handstand, doing back and front lever, and a bunch of other demanding moves, I found being strong and healthy sexy again. I want to continue to work out regularly. One great difference this time is that I have a goal. My goal is simple–being able to do pull-ups and handstand (pushup) without any help. In the past, I thought my goal was to work out twice a week and sometimes I even asked my friends to come to motivate myself. It did not work because working out twice a week is a plan not a goal. I did not enjoy going to the gym just felt that it was necessary. However, now that I set my eyes on becoming stronger and there is concrete ways to measure it, I became addicted to working out. I don’t need anyone to push me because the urge is internal. Sometimes, I even do some additional exercises on the matt in my room at night. Since recovery is just as important to workout as the exercises, I began eating healthier as well. I always had an interest in cooking and nutrition, but I got sloppy and lazy under the excuse that “I didn’t have time.” The added benefit is I also got back into doing cooking. A few recipes and diet tips are shared at the end of the post. Besides going to the gym, I play tennis once week. I can feel the results when I am on the court. I am able to receive shots I was not able to before because I am quicker and more athletic due to the workouts. I can also position myself better and have more control over my shots. As a healthy cycle, I now enjoy tennis more too and I am getting better at it.

Working out is just one example of how I tried to translate thinking into doing. It is not just doing it once but making it a habit, having a goal, and maybe even choosing it as a lifestyle. One thing that used to make me feel very guilty is I would see interesting opportunities in my inbox and decided to apply later. The annoying process of writing something up and the daunting thought of putting myself out there chasing something construed a larger barrier than they are for me. As you can imagine, I did not end up applying to those events or opportunities.

The worst danger is not the experiences or opportunities that slipped away but the habit of procrastination and the mindset of fear doing so develops.

When I could force myself to not put things off and act immediately the moment I see them or set a reminder for later and be very serious about following through, I made a huge difference for myself. That was how I found my first part-time job, my first internship and went to my first conference and more. Sheryl Sandberg, the COO of Facebook, suggested many good tips for being consistent and reaching your goals in her talks and in her book Lean In. I have picked one of them to discuss here: share your goals with people that will keep you accountable and help you reach our goals.

Share your goals with the right person (or people). This has 3 crucial benefits in helping you achieve your goals.

1. The right people can keep you accountable. They will check in with you regularly to make sure you are on track and be there for you in your darkest hour. For example, A lot of people hire personal trainers not to teach them how to work out, but to motivate them and push them.
2. The right people can provide resources.  They may have had a similar experience and can share the do’s and don’ts. They may know someone that could be incredibly helpful to your endeavor and open doors for you.
3. The right people can be your partners or healthy competitions. Sometimes having an ally makes you stronger; sometimes having a competitor makes you work harder.

Inspiration does not require a passionate speech or a great enterprise. It could happen when you see someone like you accomplishing something you want to do. Knowing that they can do it helps you conquer your own fear. Watching them succeed spurs healthy competitiveness in you. Because, deep down, you know you CAN do it and maybe even better.

 

Day 1: Cardio

• Elliptical Machine or Spinning (warm-up 10-15 minutes or 2-5 miles)
• Push-ups, Push-up Rotations, Push-up Rows, Push-up jacks, Walking push-ups
• Mountain climbers, twisted mountain climbers
• Shoulder wide stance squats, Wide squats, Air squats, Mini pulse squats
• Reverse Lunge (with weights in hands), Knee crunches
• Tricep dips, Tricep bridges
• High-knee jumps, Skier jumps, Box jumps
• Lower leg drops (could be done with swiss-ball), Double leg lifts, V-ups, Heel extensions with crunch
• Twisted bicycle crunches, Side planks
• Swiss-ball jackknifes, Swiss-ball hamstring curls, bridges (with swiss-ball or not)
• Burpees, Jumping jacks
• Birdog, Standing knee-to-chest
• Planks, Dophins, High to low plank, Plank hip dips, Plank knee tucks

I would be mindful of my breathing and incorporate some yoga stretching in the beginning and the end

Day 2: Yoga & Meditation

I like following YogaWithAdriene on Youtube. Right now I am doing the 30 Days of Yoga series.

Day 3: Strength Building

• Squats
• Deadlifts
• Bar rows / Dumbbell rows
• Assited Pull-ups
• Assited Dips
• Barbell shoulder press
• Kettlebell swing
• Dumbell lateral raise
• Dumbell forward raise
• Dumbbell French press

Day 4: Yoga & Meditation

I like following YogaWithAdriene on Youtube. Right now I am doing the 30 Days of Yoga series.

Day 5: Tennis [2 hours]

I have been playing tennis for years. However, any ball sport would be good. It helps with coordination and athleticism.

Day 6: Off (Now I swim [starting with 4 50-meter laps, not continuously])

Day 7: Flexibility & Stretches

I collected a few of my favorite youtube stretches here. I just repeat them every week.

In general, I would work out my abs, gluts, and legs at home in addition to all the stuff I do in the gym. Cassey Ho’s POP Pilates are really good. When I go to the gym, I write down the exercises I plan to do that day on my phone. That way I can plan out the workout experience, make sure it is interesting and cover all the muscles I wish to exercise. For strength, I also record the highest weight I was able to do for each exercise. Keeping track of your statistics is tremendously helpful to working out and too often neglected.

My Healthy Diet Tips

Blended Recipies

Grain & Protein Shake

• 1 Banana
• Dry Oatmeal (I actually used a mixed oatmeal that has sunflower seeds and some dried fruit)
• Vanilla yogurt (optional)
• 1 scoop of almond butter (optional)
• Protein power (only after workout)
• Soy milk (It’s good for women, but any milk will do, almond milk is also a great option)

Summer Fruit Smoothie

• Blackberries
• Kiwi
• Grapefruit
• Mint leaves (optional)
• Coconut water

The great thing about this smoothie is that it is not very sweet. I avoid high sugar diet in general since it accelerates the aging process. Sugar is a natural enemy to white blood cells, which play a key role in our immune system, and collagen, which is the most common structural protein for our skin and bones.

Sugar → Glycation → Aging

If you are curious about the science behind why sugar is bad for us, this post does a very good job in explaining the reasons.

General Food Choices

• Beets
  Beets are great antioxidants because of the vitamin C and manganese. They are particularly great for post workout to bring more oxygen to your muscles. The nitric oxide in beets allow blood vessels to dilate and thus have more flow. The betalain (Latin for “beet” pigment can help your body break down toxins and support the detoxication process to purify your blood. The benefits of beets make them one of the healthiest food in the world. They are great athletic ability boosters, inflammation fighters, and blood pressure reducers.

 

• Cucumbers
  Cucumbers contain plenty of water and vitamins. They are great for the summer and provides skin-friendly minerals.

 

 

 

• Eggs
  Eggs contain a lot of protein and nutrients. They are one of the top choices for post workout food. Contrary to common believes that eggs can be bad because of its high cholesterol, eggs actually raise good cholesterol in us. They also contain choline which we usually don’t get enough in our diet. Choline is useful for building cell membranes and producing signaling molecules in the brain, plus other goodness.

 

• Purple, red, and yellow foodPrevent cancer and antioxidants. It is recommended by the American Cancer Society to eat fruit and vegetables of different colors.

I am a meat lover. In particular, I like seafood a lot. I always have at least one type of protein each meal.

I’ve been a huge fan of Djokovic since I first watched his game in ’12. It was also US Open. Djokovic, world number 2 then, was taking on world number 3 Andy Murray. The match went on 5 sets and over 4 1/2 hours. The tie breaker alone at the end of first set lasted 24 min. Djokovic closed an intense and stretched 54-shot rally. He became known to me after that with his daring and aggressive style. I appreciate the variety in his shots and his willingness to come to the net. Even though Murray

In this encounter, Djokovic was taking the lead in the first set and quickly broke Murray’s service just to have Murray get back in the game with three victories in a row. They settled with a tie breaker and Djokovic pocked the set. In the second set, Djokovic broke Murray’s service again and was on the wining course once more. Murray got it back the next game and broke Djokovic in return. They were back to the first set kind of deadlock. Serving at 4:4, Murray defended his service game. Now if Djokovic wins the next, the set could go into another tie breaker. Robin Williams put it nicely, “Tennis is like chess at 90 mph.” The tides of the game can be as uncertain as they are. Composure as well as mental strength of players can be just enough momentum to swing the tides one way or another. I get nervous for Djokovic a lot every time I watch his game. Unlike Roger, Djokovic could be sitting on top one game and start losing the next and once he starts making mistakes, he get very frustrated with himself. However, over the years, I’ve observed clear improvement in his control of emotions. He’s also got much better consistency and a better touch with drop shots. Murray reached a set point at Djokovic’s 5:6 service. They went back and forth between duce and ad. Finally, Djokovic got over it, heading to tie breaker time!

Murray got the first point of the tie breaker as a result of Djokovic’s unforced forehand error. Djokovic then lost his first service point. Then the next one. The game just shifted in Murray’s favor. Djokovic was in a hole. He needed to hang in there just like Murray did and bring himself back to the game. And 4:0 Murray. Still time to get back on, but Djokovic had to keep his focus together and secure at least four points in a row. 5:1 serving Djokovic. The second set could be slipping away if he couldn’t hold them. And he didn’t. 7:6, 6:7, annoying mirror images of each other. Murray racked up the tie breaker points 7:1.

The third set, Djokovic opened it solid. I have to admit that Murray has got a much more interesting play since ’12 with more slices and net points. Even though he won the final in ’12, I remember finding him not too exciting to watch besides great consistency. Murray kept the second game 40:0, finishing with a big forehand. His forehand has been incredible for him so far tonight. I like seeing players having opportunities to smack down overheads. Djokovic was defending his service game and he smashed that ball hard on Murray’s court. Soon, 3:1 Djokovic was back in and he broke Murray for the third time of this match. Djokovic’s forehand seemed to have shaken off, swinging at full force. Ah oh, two misses put Djokovic’s service game in jeopardy again. Game point for Murray, advantage out. Phew, back to duce. Yet again, advantage out. Time to test that composure for Djokovic. Then, a beautiful play by Djokovic followed by an ace, he was still holding the lead. Murray got very frustrated with himself and he started having a conversation with angry Murray. It looked rather funny on camera. Without too much doubt, the set advanced to 5:2 Djokovic and serving Murray. I would like to see Djokovic break Murray again to win the set. 30:40, set point for Djokovic but Murray saved it. Not long, second set point, ad out to Djokovic. And yes, Djokovic took the set!

The fourth and last set, Murray was not feeling well physically. However, he stayed a challenge to Djokovic and pulled off some remarkable rallies. Djokovic did win 40:0 in his fourth service game of the set and progressing steadily with 4:3. Murray had a smooth ensuing service game and the set was back to 4:4 with another 40:0. First match point 40:15 5:4 Djokovic. Murray was pacing himself. The first serve was a let. Redo. Second serve. No need for a second match point.

Djokovic stood in the center of the court after hugging his long time friend and rival. Heading to SemiFinal, Djokovic will be meeting Kei Nishikori, a rising Japanese player. Nishikori just beat Wawrinka to face Djokovic in the next match. I look forward to watch Djokovic coming out of another tough match in the semi final.

Funny story, in the after match interview, the reporter asked what Djokovic’s thoughts about what’s lying ahead. He answered honestly, “Going to sleep.” (He actually joked that he might go partying, but Coach Becker would probably chase him with a stick)